BC1: Day Eleven

Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Well I've gotten a few compliments on my clothes (not many). And I've gotten compliments when I play volleyball, but I swear I'm nothing compared to certain other players... Lot's of people compliment me on my cleanliness, but I know a couple people think it's just OCD lol. I get compliments on my handwriting too. And I've recently gotten compliments on my singing. But I think I get the most compliments on my creativity and art stuff. Whether I'm drawing something for someone or I make a poster assignment look cool, people like my artistic-ness :)

What I love most about it is that it just comes naturally for me.
Hehehe.
♥

Morning Tears

Beautiful dreamer,
Wake unto me.
Starlight and dewdrops
Are awaiting thee.

This morning sometime around 5am I woke up.
And I was crying.

In the dream I was having I was crying, like seriously bawling, and I guess it must've been too much emotional stress because I woke up and actual tears were sliding down my cheeks. Has that ever happened to you before? This was the second time for me.
I don't dream a lot (or it may just be that I don't remember most of my dreams) but when I do have them, they're usually intense, some the good kind and others the bad kind. So the first time this happened I was dreaming that my friend Frank died. I don't remember how but in the dream I broke down crying and I woke up crying too. Frank means a lot to me. Although we don't see each other or talk much anymore because he's busy with college and work, he's still considered a dear friend to me. So when I woke up I was almost in shock. I texted him right away haha. Sooner or later I fell back asleep and when I woke up he replied saying that he loved me lol. That jerk haha. We had a nice little convo about it. And of course I was glad to know that he was still alive :)
But anyway, the dream I woke up from this morning was different. I was in school in class sitting next to Vicky. We were talking... well, it was more like me talking to her. I was trying to start a convo. Eventhough she kept giving me short answers, I kept at it. I asked her what she had for breakfast. I know she doesn't eat much so I said that I would make her breakfast and stuff but out of nowhere she flips out at me saying that she didn't want any of my burnt eggs (the proper term is overcooked actually; this was probably because of my friend Thomas, he's "teaching" me how to cook and last week I tried making an omelet but I accidentally burned the onions and sausage and overcooked the eggs, it was a complete fail...) and tells me to leave her alone. I was really hurt so I tell her "Fine. Fuck you, bitch!" and everyone in the class gave me an applause. I got up to leave the room, but right before I walked out the door I opened a half gallon carton of milk and throw it on the ground at her. (Don't ask me why I had it, I just did lol.) So I left and I started running down the hall crying. I saw Lexy at the end of the hall so I ran to her and hugged her. I was bawling on her shoulder and we both sunk to the ground. And she held me and tried to console me. And then I woke up. And like the little traitors they are, tears were on my face.
That was the second time I cried so far this year *sigh*
I know that recently there's been a bit of tension between Vicky and I. I had her waiting downtown in the cold earlier this week. I still feel really bad about it. Even Friday when I was waiting in Ms. Santos' room for a friend, it was awkward. We didn't talk much :(
I hope it doesn't last too long. Though me hiding from her on AIM probably isn't helping either...
But back to the main topic, now that I think about it, this has happened once before. It was a really long time ago when I was a kid. I had this dream that my brother Malcolm died. And I'm sure by now people know how much he means to me. I was terrified because he was away at college and I couldn't be sure it was real or now. So I went to my parents' room crying and I told my mom what happened. And she was like "So what? It's just a dream", which didn't really help but she let me stay in their room anyway.
Moms. Can't live with them, can't live without them.
But yea, dreams like that are really scary. There's always that moment of bewilderment when you're not sure what's real and what was part of the dream. But in the end, for me, the dream is like a reality check. It teaches me not to take my friends or family, those who matter most to me, for granted.

Tears can be very revealing...
Good morning :)

2011, The Start of Something New

It's really late, but happy new year heheheh.
Fina11y a senior, fina11y tunrning 18 (very soon *wink*). I'm lovin it.
Have fun guys! ♥

Until next blog...

BC1: Day Seven

So... I was a little quiet because my brother is definitely in the room next door. And we have thin walls. And it's embarrassing to admit this stuff (though he already knows it haha). But yeah. Oh! And at 0:35, I meant to say vlogger, not blogger. Alright, I'm off to do some late night chores.

Until tomorrow... ♥

Change of Seasons/Good Life

Ketchup

Okay. So I looked at my calender earlier and I realized it was Tuesday. Whoo! I survived two days of school (this week)!
So today was ridiculously cold. I was just talking to my mom about how this morning it wasn't cold, but I nearly froze to death on my way home... Then I remembered that she gave me a ride to school this morning LOL. But seriously. My face was numb, I couldn't feel my toes, and my fingers felt like they were going to fall off even though I had gloves on. And this was all in Roslindale Square as I was waiting for the bus. Ridiculous. Yesterday was like 50 degrees! I wore a skirt! Yet when I was walking over to Stop and Shop a couple hours ago (I was warm everywhere except my head, stupid wind >_>) it was snowing. Seriously? Snow? I mean, I know it's winter and everything but I was sort of hoping the snow would be put off until the week starting Christmas break or something lol. Winter's my favorite season, but I don't like the cold. The bitter, biting winter cold. It makes me shiver. Haha pun.
Anywhom, I made my Christmas list (for other people) just the other day. So sad haha. I mean, I love it, all my ideas are awesome (as usual lol jk) but it's so last minute! And I have barely any money to work with! I feel bad because everyone else says how they got me the perfect gift or something, but I have nothing for them (yet anyway). So for half of the people on my list, I hope they accept and enjoy my baked goods. <:\ This is exactly what happened last year. I gave people late gifts. I ended up giving people gifts up until my birthday, when I should've been recieving gifts lol. I even used some of my birthday money to get those last few gifts. How bad is that? lol
But hey, in the end they're happy (I hope) and I'm happy so it works out. I just need to work on saving my money. And getting a job so I can make a steady income. Sigh. I really hope people like their gifts this year. I have like the best things planned. It'll just take time -_-
And my shindig. I've been debating with myself about whether I should have it or not, but I think I will. I should anyway. Even if like nobody RSVP'd the event, I know at least a few people will come. And just those few people will make it awesome. Even if we are just sitting around watching movies and baking :\ (My house is so lame. There's nothing to do! lol)
I don't think I would've wanted certain people to come anyway...

So recently I've been having these thoughts. And I'm not sure if they're correct or not, but that's what it feels like... I feel like "the other woman". Haha yes, it sounds funny but I'm serious. Maybe I keep doing things with him because subconsciously I'm still trying to get him, but I don't want that. He has a girlfriend. I don't wanna be a homewrecker! lol
Let's hope that I'm just the "really good woman friend" and nothing more.

Hey! Malcolm's visting for the holidays! :D
He's coming this Sunday, I can't wait. He and Mr. T and me are gonna go last minute Christmas shopping haha. Funn!
Oh and I have to preform in the Winter Concert Thursday for Chorus. Yay. I can't wait. (Can you feel the sarcasm?) I mean, last week if you had asked me I would've said that I'm excited for the concert, but after today, not anymore. I told Mr. Wurman that I wasn't feeling well and that I was gonna go home after school, but he said that I had to go to dress rehearsal -_-
So eventhough I was sick, I went. And I didn't even sing, I sat in the "audience". And at the end right before I was gonna leave, he snatched the permission slip from me. That pissed me off. I know it's his first year and everything, but he's just way too antsy about this. I understand that some of the people in Chorus won't stop talking, but there's no reason for him to take out his frustrations on me. The same thing happened with Spirit Day. This is just one of the differences between BPS and suburban schools (Lexington). When I was in Chorus, it was NICE. We got shirts, we performed at a retirement home, we sounded awesome. Though the music teacher was sort of a slut, she was fun and knew what she was doing. I'm not saying that Mr. Wurman doesn't know what he's doing, I just feel like he's overwhelmed with all these kids. Because back in Lexington there was like maybe 20 people in our group. I don't know. He just needs to take a chill pill.

Alright. I still have lots of work to do so I'll write you later blogettes.
Night!