Cover Drive - I Know You Too Well

My new favorite song.

Depressing Thought of the Day

One day, I will have to watch as someone buries my dear parents or my brother or my dear friend. And I won't be able to do anything about it. The world won't stop, life will continue on. One day I will lose those I love most. Looking at how my parents age every day is yet another reminder of how dispensable each one of our lives really are. I am yet a grain of sand on the beach of the universe - minuscule, overlooked, unimportant. My life (and my death) essentially means nothing.

~~~~

Then, there's an up side to this too.
Without each single grain, there would be no beautiful beach of a universe. Each life is exactly so important because it adds to the rich plethora of moments and feelings and relationships that make up life.
There's a purpose for each one of our lives, no matter how bad they seem at the moment.
I just haven't found the reason for mine yet.
But I will.


Optimism. I will stay positive.
For me, 2013 officially starts tomorrow. I have something to look forward to: being reunited with Johnny, even if for a short time. I will have a good time and come back refreshed. In this new chapter of my life I will not chase Jay anymore - or any other guy for that matter. I will not let the sadness stick to me. I will live more, laugh more, and just be me.

So, in a way, I guess you could say that my resolution is to be happier. And it all starts tomorrow.
See you in a week! :)

Paper Route - Letting You Let Go

Their music always seems to strike a chord within me, that's why they're my favorite band. ♥

Hello, 2013.

Hi.
It's been a while since I've gotten a chance to sit down and honestly blog. I appologize for those who actually pay attention to my posts, my laptop was in hibernation. But I'm back now, don't worry!
I have so many pictures to post! But those will have to wait, I guess.

Here's the quick summary of these past few weeks:
Wreck-It Ralph was an awesome movie - go see it, made a vase (one more thing crossed off my list), secret Santa with my friends, watercolor set and fuzzy socks, attractive card given to Jay, mildly depressed, passed classes with an A, a B+, and a C+ but am still on academic probation...what.the.fuck..., art and next level psych course next semester, YMS potluck, reached limit with sister, Korean restaurant, thrift shopping, loneliness, The Book Thief, LUSH, friendship bracelets, sugar cookies, New Years with the gang plus Lexy, sick, hospital with mom - confessions, parallel parking, Mike's Pastry and wall walking with Twinn - heart2heart, shopping with sister, new dress, possible plans with Jay.... and I think that's it.
Except for the fact that I'm going to California in a few days to visit Johnny. It's finally happening. Operation Johnny is nearly complete. I've been feeling... down lately all semester long. This trip should do me some good.
Oh, and I deleted Star from my friends. But that's a story for another time.
Right now I plan on cleaning up my room, maybe do a little packing, and stay up to practice my watercolor painting. And maybe I'll stay up to watch the sunrise. Just because.


2012 was such a bad year for me, the only thing I hope is that 2013 will be better.
My resolution? I don't know. But I did buy another journal to keep writing in, that could be one thing..

Zooey&Joe

They should just do the world (and me) a favor and get married already. They're so adorable :)
Zooey's the only person other than myself I permit Joe to be with haha.

Maybe she's right, maybe I never get the guy I want because I'm never forward with them. I'm too shy to look someone in the face and say "I like you", or even to give them a card that says so and NOT run away. I've been this way since that first incident in elementary school and I don't know if I can change. I'll probably end up being the cause of my own loneliness. Forever alone, that's me.