I went over Honey Bee's house when he was there. I swear I would rather eat hummus than do that again. During our "nap" I didn't have a headache.. I was just holding in how much I wanted to leave. While you guys were getting lovey dovey I was willing myself to sleep, praying that I wouldn't have to see it or even think about it. And it's not because of my feelings towards him, that couldn't have mattered less, it's because being the 3rd wheel sucks ass. I can't believe I put myself in that situation.. NEVER AGAIN.
And then, when I was going back home on the bus this gross old dude (probably drunk) kept talking to this poor girl who was 17 I believe. After a couple of stops I had to say something because he'd been talking to her since I got to Mattapan Station, and she was losing patience with him, not talking back, and if it were me, I would love for someone to step in and do something. There were only a couple people on the bus and he was annoying and no one did anything. So I spoke up. I told him to stop talking to her because no one else on the bus wanted to hear him talking to himself (she obviously wasn't responding to him anymore). And of course he got mad and started saying stuff like "that's the problem with black women nowadays, they don't have any knowledge. I was just trying to give her a little knowledge" and "it's the black women who speak up that's the problem, they need to learn how to shut their mouths" or something like that. Whatever. He was a old, annoying, and needed to stop. You know, he even mentioned how his daughter was just about the same age as the girl. Ummm... SKETCH.
I didn't get any thanks or anything, but I'm proud of myself for speaking up :)
I'm just glad he got off the bus before I did.. lol.
All in all though I'm glad you had a good time, Honey Bee (I won't mention hope because I know you did). Possibly your two favorite people came to visit you when you were sick. Just please, like I said in that text, don't do that ever again.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Adorable
I was looking out the window a while ago and I saw these two blue jays flying together. It was so cute how they were watching after each other and they stayed by each other.
Honestly, this picture was adorable when I first found it but now it looks a bit scary. In a way that's love I guess. It's a bit scary at first... right?
♥
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Robyn Knows.
Call Your Girlfriend -- Robyn
Today I went out and celebrated my friend's birthday at Boston Bowl and I saw Bridesmaids and had a good time.. but that's not what I wanted to talk about. It's Honey Bee.
I'm going to write a letter to her explaining my thoughts and feelings and everything but right now I just can't get over him. I've thought about it and I feel terrible for saying what I said to her, my thoughts about him. It's just the way I feel and I honestly don't think that'll ever change, no matter how much I want to at least get to know him. Cheating is just... ugh.
I was talking with my mom just a bit ago and I thought of this song. Not only is it a great song by one of my favorite artists but it seems to fit the situation perfectly.
Him. If he really likes Honey Bee, he'd break up with his girlfriend. No excuses. Sure, it's hard after being together for such a long time but... Honey Bee is worth it. Break up with her or stop messing around. It's black and white to me. If only I could see the gray, if only I could see it the way Honey Bee sees it, maybe then I'd understand.
Honey Bee. She'll get her letter soon. I just need to get my thoughts together. She'll see things from my view soon.. or at least I hope she does. It's always good to get more than one perspective.
Today I went out and celebrated my friend's birthday at Boston Bowl and I saw Bridesmaids and had a good time.. but that's not what I wanted to talk about. It's Honey Bee.
I'm going to write a letter to her explaining my thoughts and feelings and everything but right now I just can't get over him. I've thought about it and I feel terrible for saying what I said to her, my thoughts about him. It's just the way I feel and I honestly don't think that'll ever change, no matter how much I want to at least get to know him. Cheating is just... ugh.
I was talking with my mom just a bit ago and I thought of this song. Not only is it a great song by one of my favorite artists but it seems to fit the situation perfectly.
Him. If he really likes Honey Bee, he'd break up with his girlfriend. No excuses. Sure, it's hard after being together for such a long time but... Honey Bee is worth it. Break up with her or stop messing around. It's black and white to me. If only I could see the gray, if only I could see it the way Honey Bee sees it, maybe then I'd understand.
Honey Bee. She'll get her letter soon. I just need to get my thoughts together. She'll see things from my view soon.. or at least I hope she does. It's always good to get more than one perspective.
Monday, June 27, 2011
It doesn't matter if you love him or capital H-I-M...
That was.. an interesting talk I had with my parents just now. It started off with friends and college life and... boys (heavens no!). Then my dad went on to discuss la bible. Oops, that should be an uppercase B, la Bible. What do I think of it? Do I believe in it? That's the main fear I had when I heard that we were gonna have a talk. How do you tell your religious parents that you don't believe in God? You don't. lol
You do what I've been doing my entire life. You use word choice. It's not that you don't believe in God, it's just that you haven't found Him yet. Your thoughts on the Bible? Do you follow it? Do you think people should follow it? In summary, yes, there are some good things written that people should follow. See? Word choice. It softens the blow. That way I don't have to say anything their poor ears wouldn't be able to handle or believe :)
After discussing the Bible, my dad asked my opinion of gay people. He asked me if I thought it was wrong or right or if I cared.. And I told him that I didn't think there was anything necessarily wrong with them. They're just people. They were born that way, what's so wrong with that? Then we had a discussion about how according to the Bible and God, it's wrong. Just flat out wrong. Both my parents told me that when they saw guys kissing guys (and I guess that includes girls kissing girls too though they didn't mention that) they thought it was gross. My dad spent his time trying to find where in the Bible it infers that the thing that God despises the most is gays. So to save both our time I basically told him that it's pointless to try to tell me what's wrong if I've already formed my own opinion. (Btw I'm hard-headed. I got it from my dad so when we both disagree on something like this.. well, there's just no point in arguing.) To which he replied that by me saying it's right I'm going against both the Bible and God................ okay. I'm fine with that lol. We're all people. We should have the right to live how we please (as long as it doesn't harm anyone else). And if two men or two women want to live happily ever after together, no one should stop them. Not me, not my parents, not my church, and especially not the government. My mom mentioned the PRIDE fair thing in NY. She talked about it in a disgusted way, but honestly, I'd love to go to a gay fair/parade one day. Why not? I don't think there's anything wrong with it so I guess yes, you could say I support it. FREE LOVE! PEACE FOR ALL!
I finally told my mom the other day that Johnny (the leader of YMS) was gay and had a partner. All she said was wow. I told her to stop her from thinking that I do fashion shows naked and show off my body (like how could she think that's what we do in YMS? that makes no sense at all -_-). But now I feel like she'll treat him differently :( Ignorance... So much ignorance.
My dad kept saying to watch out because that evil, hanging out with gays and whatnot, could spread to me too.. Ugh, they're just not.... open. Or as open as I'd hope them to be. Sigh, whatever.
So what are my actual opinions on God? Well.. I'm serious when I say I haven't found Him yet. How can I say that He doesn't exist when practically my entire family and the majority of the world believes (in one way/religion or another) in Him? Even when I had my First Communion I didn't believe. When they made me memorize all those prayers, all those classes I took, all those times I went to church, I don't remember actually believing. All those times I bend down on my knees I never once felt that there was someone, some greater force up there listening. If anyone in my family ever read this they'd.. well, they'd be shocked. I feel bad just typing it, but it's true. That's how I feel. I feel.. nothing. And people would say they're the ones who feel sorry for me, but don't. I don't need your pity. Come judgement time, come my death we'll see what happens. Actually, speaking of, I never really believed that there was a Heaven. I just thought that there was.. blackness, nothing. Maybe there is life after death, but I'll never know. And no body else will either. You can believe, that's all you can do. I do hope to find God one day though. Maybe just not through Christianity. In the 7th grade I remember learning about the major religions of the world and the one religion that really interested me was Hinduism... or maybe it was Buddhism. Still, they are both very interesting religions. There should be no reason why I can't worship God in my own way, in a religion separate from my family's. So there. That's my view.
And to finish off this post I'll say that my parents have decided that they are taking my to Haiti this summer. Yayyyyyyyyy... that was sarcastic. I'm not excited to go to a country where everyone around me speaks a language (one I barely understand) that I can't and where I don't have a family member my age to talk to... but I'll go -_- I will say though that if I miss my YMS fashion show I swear to.. Him that I will never forgive my parents.
And so Summer 2011 unfolds...
You do what I've been doing my entire life. You use word choice. It's not that you don't believe in God, it's just that you haven't found Him yet. Your thoughts on the Bible? Do you follow it? Do you think people should follow it? In summary, yes, there are some good things written that people should follow. See? Word choice. It softens the blow. That way I don't have to say anything their poor ears wouldn't be able to handle or believe :)
After discussing the Bible, my dad asked my opinion of gay people. He asked me if I thought it was wrong or right or if I cared.. And I told him that I didn't think there was anything necessarily wrong with them. They're just people. They were born that way, what's so wrong with that? Then we had a discussion about how according to the Bible and God, it's wrong. Just flat out wrong. Both my parents told me that when they saw guys kissing guys (and I guess that includes girls kissing girls too though they didn't mention that) they thought it was gross. My dad spent his time trying to find where in the Bible it infers that the thing that God despises the most is gays. So to save both our time I basically told him that it's pointless to try to tell me what's wrong if I've already formed my own opinion. (Btw I'm hard-headed. I got it from my dad so when we both disagree on something like this.. well, there's just no point in arguing.) To which he replied that by me saying it's right I'm going against both the Bible and God................ okay. I'm fine with that lol. We're all people. We should have the right to live how we please (as long as it doesn't harm anyone else). And if two men or two women want to live happily ever after together, no one should stop them. Not me, not my parents, not my church, and especially not the government. My mom mentioned the PRIDE fair thing in NY. She talked about it in a disgusted way, but honestly, I'd love to go to a gay fair/parade one day. Why not? I don't think there's anything wrong with it so I guess yes, you could say I support it. FREE LOVE! PEACE FOR ALL!
I finally told my mom the other day that Johnny (the leader of YMS) was gay and had a partner. All she said was wow. I told her to stop her from thinking that I do fashion shows naked and show off my body (like how could she think that's what we do in YMS? that makes no sense at all -_-). But now I feel like she'll treat him differently :( Ignorance... So much ignorance.
My dad kept saying to watch out because that evil, hanging out with gays and whatnot, could spread to me too.. Ugh, they're just not.... open. Or as open as I'd hope them to be. Sigh, whatever.
So what are my actual opinions on God? Well.. I'm serious when I say I haven't found Him yet. How can I say that He doesn't exist when practically my entire family and the majority of the world believes (in one way/religion or another) in Him? Even when I had my First Communion I didn't believe. When they made me memorize all those prayers, all those classes I took, all those times I went to church, I don't remember actually believing. All those times I bend down on my knees I never once felt that there was someone, some greater force up there listening. If anyone in my family ever read this they'd.. well, they'd be shocked. I feel bad just typing it, but it's true. That's how I feel. I feel.. nothing. And people would say they're the ones who feel sorry for me, but don't. I don't need your pity. Come judgement time, come my death we'll see what happens. Actually, speaking of, I never really believed that there was a Heaven. I just thought that there was.. blackness, nothing. Maybe there is life after death, but I'll never know. And no body else will either. You can believe, that's all you can do. I do hope to find God one day though. Maybe just not through Christianity. In the 7th grade I remember learning about the major religions of the world and the one religion that really interested me was Hinduism... or maybe it was Buddhism. Still, they are both very interesting religions. There should be no reason why I can't worship God in my own way, in a religion separate from my family's. So there. That's my view.
And to finish off this post I'll say that my parents have decided that they are taking my to Haiti this summer. Yayyyyyyyyy... that was sarcastic. I'm not excited to go to a country where everyone around me speaks a language (one I barely understand) that I can't and where I don't have a family member my age to talk to... but I'll go -_- I will say though that if I miss my YMS fashion show I swear to.. Him that I will never forgive my parents.
And so Summer 2011 unfolds...
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
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