Wednesday, December 29, 2010

BC1: Day Seven

video

So... I was a little quiet because my brother is definitely in the room next door. And we have thin walls. And it's embarrassing to admit this stuff (though he already knows it haha). But yeah. Oh! And at 0:35, I meant to say vlogger, not blogger. Alright, I'm off to do some late night chores.

Until tomorrow...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ketchup

Okay. So I looked at my calender earlier and I realized it was Tuesday. Whoo! I survived two days of school (this week)!
So today was ridiculously cold. I was just talking to my mom about how this morning it wasn't cold, but I nearly froze to death on my way home... Then I remembered that she gave me a ride to school this morning LOL. But seriously. My face was numb, I couldn't feel my toes, and my fingers felt like they were going to fall off even though I had gloves on. And this was all in Roslindale Square as I was waiting for the bus. Ridiculous. Yesterday was like 50 degrees! I wore a skirt! Yet when I was walking over to Stop and Shop a couple hours ago (I was warm everywhere except my head, stupid wind >_>) it was snowing. Seriously? Snow? I mean, I know it's winter and everything but I was sort of hoping the snow would be put off until the week starting Christmas break or something lol. Winter's my favorite season, but I don't like the cold. The bitter, biting winter cold. It makes me shiver. Haha pun.
Anywhom, I made my Christmas list (for other people) just the other day. So sad haha. I mean, I love it, all my ideas are awesome (as usual lol jk) but it's so last minute! And I have barely any money to work with! I feel bad because everyone else says how they got me the perfect gift or something, but I have nothing for them (yet anyway). So for half of the people on my list, I hope they accept and enjoy my baked goods. <:\ This is exactly what happened last year. I gave people late gifts. I ended up giving people gifts up until my birthday, when I should've been recieving gifts lol. I even used some of my birthday money to get those last few gifts. How bad is that? lol
But hey, in the end they're happy (I hope) and I'm happy so it works out. I just need to work on saving my money. And getting a job so I can make a steady income. Sigh. I really hope people like their gifts this year. I have like the best things planned. It'll just take time -_-
And my shindig. I've been debating with myself about whether I should have it or not, but I think I will. I should anyway. Even if like nobody RSVP'd the event, I know at least a few people will come. And just those few people will make it awesome. Even if we are just sitting around watching movies and baking :\ (My house is so lame. There's nothing to do! lol)
I don't think I would've wanted certain people to come anyway...

So recently I've been having these thoughts. And I'm not sure if they're correct or not, but that's what it feels like... I feel like "the other woman". Haha yes, it sounds funny but I'm serious. Maybe I keep doing things with him because subconsciously I'm still trying to get him, but I don't want that. He has a girlfriend. I don't wanna be a homewrecker! lol
Let's hope that I'm just the "really good woman friend" and nothing more.

Hey! Malcolm's visting for the holidays! :D
He's coming this Sunday, I can't wait. He and Mr. T and me are gonna go last minute Christmas shopping haha. Funn!
Oh and I have to preform in the Winter Concert Thursday for Chorus. Yay. I can't wait. (Can you feel the sarcasm?) I mean, last week if you had asked me I would've said that I'm excited for the concert, but after today, not anymore. I told Mr. Wurman that I wasn't feeling well and that I was gonna go home after school, but he said that I had to go to dress rehearsal -_-
So eventhough I was sick, I went. And I didn't even sing, I sat in the "audience". And at the end right before I was gonna leave, he snatched the permission slip from me. That pissed me off. I know it's his first year and everything, but he's just way too antsy about this. I understand that some of the people in Chorus won't stop talking, but there's no reason for him to take out his frustrations on me. The same thing happened with Spirit Day. This is just one of the differences between BPS and suburban schools (Lexington). When I was in Chorus, it was NICE. We got shirts, we performed at a retirement home, we sounded awesome. Though the music teacher was sort of a slut, she was fun and knew what she was doing. I'm not saying that Mr. Wurman doesn't know what he's doing, I just feel like he's overwhelmed with all these kids. Because back in Lexington there was like maybe 20 people in our group. I don't know. He just needs to take a chill pill.

Alright. I still have lots of work to do so I'll write you later blogettes.
Night!

BC1: Day Six

Something you hope you never have to do.

I hope I never have to... fight anyone. Like for real. I say that I'm gonna beat people up all the time, but I don't actually mean it. When I say that it either means that the person hurt me or hurt someone that I love... or that I love them, but they did something stupid. Yup. Those are really the only reasons I'd say that I'll beat someone up. But I'm a lover, not a fighter (a hopeless lover at that lol). I don't like violence. Like that fight I witnessed between Bianca and U... (I don't know her nameee >.<) on Friday. That scared the shit outta me. I was just walking up the stairs going to my locker when I noticed people arguing and then *BAM* punches getting thrown.
I'm an advocate for peace. (Well, I don't talk about it, but I try to keep the peace through my actions.) However though I've taken self defense classes and have some muscles from volleyball, I doubt I'd be able to defend myself well in a real fight.
Still, I think fighting one another is a little barbaric. I mean, it doesn't make sense. Use your words. Walk away. Again, if we all were a bit more accepting and loving, we wouldn't have to worry about these problems.

Oh, you know what? I also hope that I never have to make one of those life-threatening decisions like in Saw. And I hope I never have to hurt someone else intentionally (I guess that goes along with the fighting thing). And I hope I never have to witness a murder or a rape or a robbery or something like that. That'd be horrid. Average people like to turn their heads on the basest habits of evil men, but they exist. It's out there and it happens everyday.

Whoo. Okay, I'm done.
Until tomorrow...

Monday, December 13, 2010

BC1: Day Five

Something you hope to do in your life.

You know, I would love to complete my list of things before I pass away, but let's be a bit more realistic..
Besides, that list is filled with mostly materialistic things. At the end of the day, at the end of my life, I would like to have accomplished two things. I hope to make someone cry tears of joy and I hope to be remembered long past my time for the great things I've done. That's all. Simple as that. Haha.
Who knows, maybe I've already done the first one (though I'd love to see it for myself). As for the second one, well, the sole thing humans need to survive is love (because with love, anything is possible). Everyone needs it, everyone wants it. It's nice to feel loved, but I guess I'm a bit selfish for wanting to be loved past my time haha. I'd love to know that there will be people (whether it be my descendants or my friends' descendants) who tell stories about me, people who say "Oh Christina? She changed my life." Before I die I want to know that I made an impact on someone's life, that I was a good friend, that I was there for people. So can you blame me for wanting to be more than a floating thought in people's distant memories? Something tangible would be nice (maybe a statue? lol jk), even if I never get the chance to see it.


Haha. Towards the end I was joking, but for the most part I was being serious. Those are my hopes for my life. I just want to make it meaningful. Don't we all?

Until tomorrow.



P.S. Those days when I skipped, I was busy. Especially Saturday night. Yes, I went to the Winter Blackout. It was... nice :)
The whole night was cool. And I love how it ended... *blush*

Sunday, December 12, 2010

BC1: Day Four

Something you have to forgive someone for.

My sister. I have to forgive her for... (I can't say that she wasn't a good sister because really, what is a good sister? And I doubt I could be any better) I have to forgive her for not showing that she loved and cared for me more. That, plus her personality, is the reason why our relationship sucks if it even exists. We're 5 years apart. And I get that while I still wanted to play with Barbies she was a teenager, growing fast and moving on to the next hobby that interested her. I get that reason why she didn't play with me, but come on. Even past those childhood years she barely tried. How can you build a relationship based on a history full of nothings?
And her personality sucks. People say we look exactly alike, but we couldn't be any more different. Granted, we have some similarities (things I probably acquired from her, like my short temper), but as a whole I'm calm and collected and she's wild and unruly. Let's say for instance she just dropped by the house for some food. What would aggravate the hell out of me would be if she complains about the food that my mom made. She'd be like "ugh, what is this?", get some food, complain while eating it, then throw away half of her plate. Like wtf? Be grateful you're getting food at all! And other little things that annoy me. Sometimes she'd tap my shoulder (so that I'd turn around and she'd act like she didn't do anything) or call my name repeatedly, which maybe is her way of trying to reach out to me, but it only makes me mad. I can't stand it. She threw my baking stuff in the trash once because she was complaining that I'd left it out too long. She warned me that she would, but I didn't take her seriously. I mean, who does that? She didn't pay for that stuff, she has NO RIGHT to touch it not to mention throw it away. She can be such a bitch. One minute she'd be joking and all happy and the next she'd be centimeters from ripping your head off. And she's constantly "borrowing" stuff without asking. Considering that she lives in Salem and doesn't give it back no matter how many times you ask her for it or remind her to bring it with her, that's very selfish. Sigh. We have no relationship. We may be blood, she may be my sister, but I don't think I could ever feel close to her.
So yes, I feel like I have to forgive her for not spending time with me when I was younger because she was a teenager handling her own problems and living her own life. And I hope one day we will be able to patch up our relationship, but it may be too late for that.
It's sad knowing that you have a blood sibling, but never being able to say that you love them.


Anywhom, that was my sob story.
Cya!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

BC1: Day Three

Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I have to forgive myself for not saying something when I had the chance. Because I was only in the 4th grade. I'm sure I've told this story before, but I'll summarize it for this entry's sake. In the 4th grade there was this boy Shannon (he was French) I was really good friends with. We would play during recess and we'd sit near each other sometimes. Towards the end of the year he told me he liked me and I just said "okay" and walked away. The sad part is, I liked him too. I was just too shocked to say anything else. I tried telling him the day after I just couldn't get myself to do it. That day he left for summer vacation in France early and I never got to tell him how I truly felt. I had a very heavy heart that summer. The next school year came around, stuff with a third party happened regarding secrets >_>, and I found out that he just wanted to "be friends".
Yes, so I've realized that I have to forgive myself for not speaking up. I was young and didn't know any better. Sure, it cost me a heartbreak, but I learned a great deal from it. The same goes for my other crushes. I find myself always falling for a guy even though I know it won't go anywhere and that I'll get hurt in the end. I have to forgive myself for that because I can not control my emotions. I have to realize that. I can try all I want to stay away from a guy and not have mini heart attacks whenever I have contact with him, but it pretty much never works. I just have to accept it, get over it, and learn. Much easier said than done...

But hey, one thing I've learned from all my crushes is to take risks and step outside my comfort zone sometimes. :)
I'm proud to say that I've told 2 of my past crushes that I've liked them (one way or another... but both directly). I never got to be with them and for one I was heartbroken to discover the truth, but it felt really good to let it out. One of these days I just hope that the guy will like me back hehehe.

Until tomorrow.
<3

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

BC1: Day 2

Something you love about yourself.

Hmmm. Yes, I love myself but I feel like listing all the things I love about myself would be a very... conceited act. And honestly, I can only think of things to say that I like about myself, not love. Let's see... (yeesh, these questions are hard).
I love my patience. Granted, I'm not very patient when it comes to children but I consider myself a very patient person. Especially when the subject is relationships. Did you know that I still have virgin lips? I've never been kissed haha.
There's this one girl I know who is ummm impatient when it comes to this subject. Now I'm not sure whether it's issues with her father in childhood or self-esteem issues, but she is always pining for a different guy. And back when I used to talk to her a lot she would always talk about some new guy in her life. And not even guys actually in her life, it would be guys she crushed on and tried desperately to get involved with through emails and facebook. I gotta hand it to her for being bold enough to do all that, but at the end of the day she'd find herself with a bookfull of poems written about different guys, crushes, that she never got to be with. I'm not like that. For the most part, I like the way my life is right now. I love my friends. I love hanging out with them. Yes, there are a few guys I like, but unfortunately I know it won't work. I know they're just crushes. I know that some day I'll find a guy worthy of my affection... and my hand (not in marriage, yet lol). I have patience when it comes to finding a boyfriend and I love it because who knows, maybe that guy, the one who steals my first kiss, will be a keeper for life. Maybe waiting makes way for a better relationship. Yes, I'll be highly inexperienced but I await those surprises with curiosity, wonder, and happiness.


One thing though, I dislike PDA lol.
Alright, cya!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

BC1: Day One

Something you hate about yourself.

Hate is a strong word.
And I don't hate myself. I just dislike some of my characteristics. Obvious things for instance. Being tall comes with a price and that debt is one I won't ever be freed from. I don't like my big hands or feet. But I remember this one talk I had with my mom in middle school. I was telling her how I was self-conscious about my feet and she said that if anyone ever made fun of them that I should be like "Well how do you expect me to stand up? I need big feet to support my tall body." Or something like that haha... but it really cheered me up and whenever I get self-conscious about my body, I think about that talk we had in the bathroom. :)
And I dislike that I hold grudges. And that I get annoyed easily (like if someone took something and didn't put it back in the right spot or the right way... or if my parents say something that ticks me off; I hate to yell at them but even if they meant no harm, I just flip out). And that I don't have much patience with kids, I don't know why. And that I can be selfish.
And I could go on, but I'm tired a my mom is really annoying me and I just want to go up to my room. So I'll blog another time... tomorrow!
Cya :)

Why Not?

As the new year approaches I feel like I should do something new. So instead of working on my procrastination habits or my work ethics, I'm going to start a 30 Day Blog Challenge :)

Here are the questions:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

FCUK CLAC

Haha I don't think that title makes sense to anyone else. I switched the two middle letters of both the words. I didn't want to swear lol.

Currently listening to: Now That You Got It -- Gwen Stefani
Hehe. iTunes is on shuffle. This song came on and I'm just really in love with this beat right now haha.

Okay. So yesterday was okay. Wait. I forgot what happened... *3 minutes later*
Oh yea! Okay, I got it. So I did no homework Thursday night haha. That's weird because I stayed up until like 1:30. I was doing facebook stuff (Including making a fan page for my baked goods! Join it! It's called "Christina's Cookies & More"). I woke up on time around 5 yesterday morning (obviously didn't get much sleep). I had to rush to catch the bus so I just grabbed the new box of Wheat Thins from the cupboard and threw a lunch together. I literally had to run across the street to catch the 30.
Let's see... fell asleep in study first period, munched on Wheat Thins throughout French (and made Vthong an uber cute note - that she never saw lol), winged a test in History, did slave labor for Ms. Pastor in the office for my other study, found out that I actually got a 55 on that test I thought I passed in Precalc (complete bullshit, that ruined my day), listened to music and didn't eat or talk during lunch because I was mad, found out that Khanh beat up some chick (that made my day because I really felt like beating up someone... I really hope she deserved it haha. Khanh♥♥♥), got a hug from Qui in English, nearly fell asleep in Biomed (I felt bad because she's such an awesome, enthusiastic teacher, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open that period), declined the offer to go out and eat with Vixie because I wanted to "go home and sleep" (it's also because I had like no money), got stopped by Qui on my way outside -- he's an odd kid haha, took the 32, walked up a hill, got home around 2:15, watched most of a movie on tv, did facebook stuff, went to the mall with my mom around 6, fell asleep in the car as she was dropping off one of her friends in Brockton, didn't find a dress for Winter Blackout, went home, ate food, did stuff, and fell asleep... yay! That was my day! lol
I woke up around noon this morning hahahaha. But yea, precalculus is pissing me off. I hate that class soooooo freaking much. A 55? Seriously?! I talked to Cao afterwards and he said that I got all the hard stuff right. He looked at it and I realized that I made a few stupid mistakes -_- But hey, at least I finally have this stuff in my head... Now I just have to apply it my tests.... and do well >_>
This is so unfair. Precalc and French are worst. Stupid junior classes...

Anywho, I'm going to the Y and then to BCNC today. I still haven't told my dad about the Athena Conference tomorrow haha. I will... later :P
Bye guys! Have a great Saturday :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Long Update Time! :D

Hello blogettes :)
It's weird how I'm feeling so good right now when about 24 hours ago I was feeling like crap. No, I didn't take any drugs haha.
This week has been pretty busy. Monday I followed Sushi home. Then Tuesday I went to Chorus and then worked out at the Y, eventually practicing basketball with Joey. Yesterday Sushi came by and I made cinnarolls. Then after she left I got sleepy and ended up falling asleep and waking up at 5.
Actually, even though I said I wouldn't... I have to talk about him. We're back on good friend terms again (though I still think he's flirty at times). But anyway I had a another dream about him last night, which is weird because I'm really not thinking about him all that much. He was here, at my house, and it was as though he'd been here a hundred times before. He was watching me wash dishes... and then he commented on my OCDness haha. Now that I think about it, Sushi was watching me wash dishes yesterday. And we were talking about how everyone has some sort of OCD or disorder lol. So I guess that's where that dream came from...
Yeah. I wasn't late this morning! And I was a bit discouraged because nobody wanted to buy my cinnarolls (people ended up just stealing them -_-). Either that or they didn't know I was selling them. At first I was gonna sell it for $1 each, but then I thought about the 4/5 hours it took for me to make it and I said $1.50... and people put away their money. Cheap bastards. Which reminds me, since Alcina is making a fan page for her music (which 1, she asked me to like and 2, the only time I heard her sing was in a video she put on facebook and... it didn't sound that good), I should follow Malcolm's advice and make one for my baking >:] I will. Right after I make that Shindig event...
What else? Well afterschool I ran around the Fenway area with Vicky for an hour or so lol. She invited me to her VLA award ceremony thing. And all of her family was there so it was like I was part of the family =^.^= LOL
Mr. Moy was there, which I was highly upset about, but he didn't bother me as much as Quang Le did. I don't know. There's just something about his smug little face that makes me want to throw a fist into it lol. The sad part is that I don't feel bad about saying it. Like, I don't even know him yet I don't like him. Sigh, after Hung, I don't think I'll ever trust a babyface again.
Afterwards I took the train and got home at like 7. Along the way I thought of the perfect excuse for why I went to a "last-minute Red Cross Club meeting". It incorporated my coming home late AND the Winter Blackout party next week AND that volunteer thing I'm doing next Sunday. It was perfect (especially paired with the adorable cupcakes I brought both my parents back from the ceremony), but when I started talking I could tell that my dad didn't care haha. Oh well. So now I have permission to go to the Winter Blackout! Now I just need to buy the ticket and find an outfit :\
I'll probably go to the mall with Vicky... maybe. If not, she can always just make me dinner :) That'll suffice. As long as it doesn't kill me lol. I trust her, but I told her to stock up on Benedryl just in case haha.

Ummmm. I still need to get a job! How am I supposed to get gifts and go places and plan stuff if I don't have any cash? Grrrr. I need to get my priorities straight >_< style="font-style: italic;">pretty sure I passed my precalc test today :D Except for the first part, it seemed easy. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not O_O I really need to boost up my grade because like every other test, I've failed. Stupid Precalc. It's ruining my report card! Not even, my transcripts!
Yeah. And my back is starting to hurt. Like, I was lying face down on my bed the other day and maybe it was the height of my pillows or something, but my back was not pleased. I hope I don't/won't have back problems... I blame volleyball. It's always the things I love/like that end up hurting me :(

Yea. I think that's it. Other than the fact that Paola's becoming a serious homewrecker, trying to steal my Vincent♥ away from me, nothing much is happening haha. But seriously, she needs to stop. She's starting to anger me. Especially since last year I did not like her at all. She was in my French class and the things she did pissed me off... until one day in the start of volleyball, she came up to me and asked to be my friend haha. Would that be considered two-faced?

Okay. Let me go... do other stuff now (notice how I didn't say homework). Byeeee!

P.S. I ♥ my son Chup so much! He's such a cutie! And he's just awesome in general :D

Plan for the rest of the week:
Tomorrow - hang out with Sushi, eat dinner at her place?
Saturday - go to the Y and play volleyball at BCNC
Sunday - Athena Conference!
And somewhere in there I'd get some homework done lol. That's if my dad let's me go out that much... We'll see.