Saturday, November 26, 2011

Just get me this and a plane ticket to California for Christmas. Or just get me a trip to Japan. That would work too lol.

Deep Exhale...

Friday, November 25, 2011

Sarah Dessen

I spent the majority of my day reading Just Listen and I was severely disappointed when I finished. I got over halfway through it then I couldn't help but skip pages at a time and skim for the most interesting parts. I guess ever since that summer I read a stack of her books and a whole bunch of other teen romances, the plot doesn't interest me anymore. Her stories are always the same: Girl has a problem (she's been sexually assaulted, her parents are breaking up, she lost her best friend, someone died, etc.), Girl has trouble coping and growing up, Magical Guy comes along and "saves" her, they get together, they break up, she gets her life together, they get back together again, they live happily ever after. It's stupid. She recycles the same storyline and pumps out another book for romantic tweens with unrealistic expectations of their first relationship to scoop up diligently. Ridiculous. How is she making so much money off this crap? It's not even remotely realistic. And would it kill her to have a female main character than solves her own problems? Does a guy have to come along in her life for her to realize what she has to do? Do heroines not exist anymore?

By the way, one character in that book was described as having "olive skin" and "dark hair"........ seriously? That's happened in pretty much every other book I've read that mentions a black person. Is it considered inappropriate for an author to say that a character is "black" or "African American"? How about just "dark skinned"?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

It's hard being in a college setting when you're an introvert.

I'm sure people think I'm awkward when I don't speak up and talk about my life. They find it strange that sometimes I like to spend all day in my room alone. It sounds sad but I actually sort of like the peace and quiet. On the other hand I realize that I only have a handful of of friends to hang out with, and of those people, even less actually care about me.
Not only that but I come off as a bitch sometimes. I don't mean to be, it's just that people don't like some of the things I say. I'm critical, I make snide comments a lot. If they got to know me though they'd see that I'm a lovable, caring person.

It's tough making new friends, period. I wish I could just go back to high school and be with the people I know and love, but I can't.

Emma Watson

Vogue Italia photoshoot
Mark Seliger

Emma Watson. Actress. Model. Drop dead gorgeous. One day I decided to check out all the hype about her and I realized she started modeling for a bunch of famous fashion magazines. It came out of nowhere. I sorta wish something like that would happen to me. I want to be discovered on the street one day and just be swept away into the fashion industry. I want to travel all over the world and wear amazing clothes and jewelry and actually be thought of as beautiful. That'd be nice...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

And now I beat myself up for holding my thoughts in. So much for my speaking up rule. I'm just breaking myself down now... >_<"

Monday, November 14, 2011


North Star

"Tsuri No Ma" Crane's Dance

Audrey Kawasaki
Oil and graphite on wood 34.5"x24"
"Hajimari"@Jonathan Levine Gallery in NY


Tattoos have become increasingly popular nowadays.... I think Chris Brown started it. Think about it, he disappeared for a while and when he came back, more popular than ever, he was covered in tattoos lol jk. But seriously, every other person and their sister have tattoos. I'm not against the idea at all.. as long as you get it for a good reason. My roomie Nina told me about one of her friends who got a tattoo of a crown pretty much on her cooch to "always remind her that she needs to be treated like a queen"........ seriously? That is not a good reason.
I have a plan for when/if I actually decide to get a tattoo. I'm definitely getting a star (for reasons somewhat personal.. but not really haha). Yeah, I know that lots of people get star tattoos but not everyone has a person to tie it to like I do! I really want it to be somewhere visible like on my wrist but I heard that hurts like a mother :/ We'll see..
And the other tattoo I'd like would be one of a giraffe like the one in that pic. Isn't it awesome?!?! So many people dear to me have told me to "stand tall"; those words are a great confidence booster. Cons: I have dark skin so it probably won't look as nice and I want to be able to see my tattoos/I'd rather not have one on my shoulder.
I used to want a TWLOHA tattoo too, just like a heart with the word love in or near it. But again, these are all just ideas. Maybe someday...


Too true...

They're adorable.
Actually, they're relationship is adorable. Someday I want that for myself...


Introvered. Sensor. Feeler. Judger?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Brian Puspos

Choreographing to Chris Brown's "Wet the Bed". I know this video is sorta old but OHMYGOSH. Watching him dance turns me on every single timeeeeeee... ♥ *happysigh*
Of course, it's a sexy song too. I'm def gonna download it.

Pep Talk

So what if I'm having a couple bad days? Am I just gonna curl up in a ball and give up? No. I'm gonna get through this the best I can and try again. Each day brings the opportunity to start anew. And this is my time to shine. I'll figure out my life, I'll figure out what I'm going to do. I hold the reigns to my own destiny..

Two weeks ago I was having a really tough time (academically, emotionally, physically...). Actually, I sort of still am having a tough time, but I'm doing a bit better than I was then. One morning I was in all sorts of disarray so I wrote down this little pep talk. The only problem is that I did the opposite of what I was supposed to do. That day I stayed in bed. I curled up in a ball and gave up. No more. I will get through this! >:[

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Looking in my yearbook...

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there."

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


It's a relief knowing that we both still need each other, that my support and opinions and overall existence as "best friend" still matter to her and vice versa.. but without actually seeing her and having some sort of constant communication I feel like this understanding we have now can only last for so long. It's almost like we've taken a step forward only to take two steps back later.
I can't pinpoint exactly where we went wrong. I'd like to say that it was just distance (going to two different schools) keeping us apart - just like with my past two besties, but it's not. Our constant "breaks" are proof. They happened all throughout high school, a building we both visited to daily. Sure, seeing each other on a regular basis helped us receive and give constant updates but sometimes that wasn't enough.
Still I guess every relationship has its ups and downs. She's been there for me countless times and I'd love to be there for her when she needs me (physically, emotionally, I'm here to give support), even 10 years from now. We just need to find a way to stay in each others' lives, if we truly mean that much to one another. And yes, to me she really does mean that much to me. I don't think any other person has changed my definition of a word before.. [star.....]

"miss you"

how easily words can break down barriers! if liz hadn't have prompted me to ask her to go to the concert i wouldn't have talked to her (until the weekend, that is). and if she hadn't have sent those two words, i still would've been feeling disconnected, incomplete, like she hated me.
communication is key. don't be afraid to say how you feel, even if you feel vulnerable saying it. because opening up can start amazing things or in this case, rekindle amazing friendships. love you!

Monday, November 7, 2011


It's like a, what, maybe 7 minute drive from Natick mall to Framingham State? I wonder...

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Distractions are just that - distractions until you get back to real life... until you get to the real issues at hand.

And that's when all my sadness comes flooding back.. at the end of the day.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Silent Treatment

The lonely silence, the unknown thoughts, the muted words.. it's killing me!