I fear being unliked, being unattractive.
It's seeded in the fact that not one guy has tried to pursue me,
that at this stage in life I've yet to be in a single relationship,
in any sort of intimate encounter at all.
Its roots run deep,
way back to my insecurities
about my appearance,
my outlandish features.
What little confidence and self-esteem I give off
is built on a web of lies.
I doubt myself.
I wonder what's wrong with me.
I hold back my feelings and long from afar,
never relaying my thoughts to my crushes
out of fear that I'd be cast off.
Because I desperately fear the day that someone will hurt me so much that I won't be able to