Sunday, December 12, 2010

BC1: Day Four

Something you have to forgive someone for.

My sister. I have to forgive her for... (I can't say that she wasn't a good sister because really, what is a good sister? And I doubt I could be any better) I have to forgive her for not showing that she loved and cared for me more. That, plus her personality, is the reason why our relationship sucks if it even exists. We're 5 years apart. And I get that while I still wanted to play with Barbies she was a teenager, growing fast and moving on to the next hobby that interested her. I get that reason why she didn't play with me, but come on. Even past those childhood years she barely tried. How can you build a relationship based on a history full of nothings?
And her personality sucks. People say we look exactly alike, but we couldn't be any more different. Granted, we have some similarities (things I probably acquired from her, like my short temper), but as a whole I'm calm and collected and she's wild and unruly. Let's say for instance she just dropped by the house for some food. What would aggravate the hell out of me would be if she complains about the food that my mom made. She'd be like "ugh, what is this?", get some food, complain while eating it, then throw away half of her plate. Like wtf? Be grateful you're getting food at all! And other little things that annoy me. Sometimes she'd tap my shoulder (so that I'd turn around and she'd act like she didn't do anything) or call my name repeatedly, which maybe is her way of trying to reach out to me, but it only makes me mad. I can't stand it. She threw my baking stuff in the trash once because she was complaining that I'd left it out too long. She warned me that she would, but I didn't take her seriously. I mean, who does that? She didn't pay for that stuff, she has NO RIGHT to touch it not to mention throw it away. She can be such a bitch. One minute she'd be joking and all happy and the next she'd be centimeters from ripping your head off. And she's constantly "borrowing" stuff without asking. Considering that she lives in Salem and doesn't give it back no matter how many times you ask her for it or remind her to bring it with her, that's very selfish. Sigh. We have no relationship. We may be blood, she may be my sister, but I don't think I could ever feel close to her.
So yes, I feel like I have to forgive her for not spending time with me when I was younger because she was a teenager handling her own problems and living her own life. And I hope one day we will be able to patch up our relationship, but it may be too late for that.
It's sad knowing that you have a blood sibling, but never being able to say that you love them.

Anywhom, that was my sob story.

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