Still Up

So I've had the weirdest past couple of days. It's like a freaking rollercoaster. Wednesday I got everything done including making a sign for "boyfriend". The cake almost fell apart completely and I was pissed, but it turned out okay. I ended up going to bed at like 3. Thursday was busyyyyy. I did run home and get flowers and run back to school. But then I milled around for a few hours because there's not much the models needed to do except put on makeup and practice poses. The show went on and it was awesome. I only felt nervous right before. On the stage I just walked and forget the crowd (though I did hear them screaming loud). After walking off though my heart nearly exploded through my chest! It was exhilirating :) I sorta kinda don't like looking at any of the pics though. I think I look gross in basically all of them. Sure, people told me that I looked fierce and I was awesome, but when I see the pictures, all I see is a man-girl. I look like a guy, which sucks cuz I was wearing makeup and everything. I guess I just have to see the who thing to get the full effect. But this isn't the only time. It's like, in some angles I look like a guy and in others, a girl. Which makes me mad cuz I know I'm a girl. I blame my dad for giving me manly features lol. Then again, after I read Twinn's wall post saying how I looked beautiful I couldn't help but smile. She's too sweet. It's weird how she knows just the right words to say. And she has no idea the effect she has on people... :(
Anywho, all the while Star wasn't talking to me. Literally, during the show she was ignoring me. I sorta think it's cuz she's been stressed. Plus, when I just stormed off Monday that probably added to the stress so she cut me out completely. Stress, or payback for me not talking to her. Either way, it had me worried. We were just talking the other day about how she could just push me out of her life one day. And I told her that would never happen. If she hadn't have talked to me this weekend I would've been prepared for battle Monday. I would've demanded why she was ignoring me and then told her that she wasn't gonna get rid of me that easy. But there was nothing to worry about because she called me today asking if I were going to the Y. I really wanted to pass and talk to her so I went. I never got a chance to confront her about her distance, but that's okay I guess. As long as we're still talking. Our relationship is very... odd. We argue a lot, but we end up together in the end. It's pretty hard to let someone go when you know their background story. But yea, over the course of the afternoon I got moody. I don't really remember why but I did. Then all I wanted to do was hit that volleyball. And I did, but it didn't do much.
Vthong told me about how "boyfriend" left the sign I made him in the cafeteria after Asian Night. And I got upset, even more upset than her flaking our afternoon out because I spent time on that poster. It wasn't easy to make. So I talked to her on facebook and it's all good now. Even Twinn talked to me. She noticed something was wrong and asked to be my therapist ♥
Caring people like her don't come around very often so when you do meet one, make sure you treat them right. Don't use them. Love them and care for them and stick by them and they might just stay by you forever. I make Twinn sound like a dog or something, but it's true that she deserves more for all the heart she puts in... everything.
What else? Well, I went to Mike's Pastry and Newbury Street on Friday as planned but I went with Van and Lexy. Rose had to leave :( I picked up something from Newbury Comics and got some soap from Lush (yay!). Now tomorrow I just hope to go to the YMS thing with Van and make that cake for Lexy. I'm going broke though. My birthday money is dwindling. I need a job because getting gifts for people isn't cheap. And it's not even their birthdays, I do it just because, just to show them how much they mean to me. And they give them away or leave them behind? Show's how much I mean to them... Oh well, just another lesson learned.
My back hurts and I'm really tired now so I'm just gonna finish by saying that I hear you Twinn and I really truly appreciate it. It's wonderful knowing someone always has my back. Just know that I have yours too! Love you!!♥
And Star, I'm glad we're talking again. I'll try not to get so upset over little things. I'll try to just think about what you mean to me, which is a lot if you didn't know. You scared me when you talked about pushing me out of your life. No matter how much we fight or how many times we stop talking, I really do hope we end up talking again because I don't want to lose you...

Night, blog ya later.