Wednesday, May 23, 2012


My mother and my brother and the university I'm currently attending make me feel like a complete failure in life. What I've done, all my experiences, and everything that I do now have no effect on my worth in their eyes. If I get an F, I'm automatically branded as a failure. Because messing up and failing is a surefire sign that I won't get a good job and make a decent amount of money. It's a sign that I won't get anywhere in life. It doesn't matter that I received honor roll all throughout middle school and my first years of high school, it doesn't matter that I've been recognized for my artwork, my athleticism, and my hard work by more than one organization over the years, it doesn't matter that all my teachers have had nothing but good words to say about me, it doesn't matter that I'm a good person with a big heart who is loyal to their friends and sometimes puts too much time and wasted efforts into the little things. All the nice things I've done doesn't matter because I'm just a failure in their eyes. That's all I'll ever be - a waste of time and money.

I know that this is when I'm supposed to pull myself together and persevere and prove them all wrong, but it's extremely hard when everything I do is considered wrong. My mother and brother just keep slapping it in my face, bringing me down. What kind of motivation is that?

I can handle everything else, but I crack under this pressure.

1 comment:

  1. As long as you put in the effort, it doesn't matter if you fail (: you'll still be the amazing Christina I know.

    People deal with situations differently. Your mother and brother love you and don't want to see you fail. So I guess that's their way of motivating you to do better.

    Cheer up buddy! Pull yourself together and shine next year! Show 'em how great and smart you are (; YOU GOT THIS!