I refuse to let myself chase again, but.. we're friends, I guess. This is about Jay obviously.
We talk. About life and problems. And we're okay - it's not awkward.
I just don't think I'm okay with letting him and the possibility of us becoming more than friends go so easily. I guess I've never just had a guy friend before. Even with Frank-o-bean it went from friend to crush to.. JUST friends. I had to fall for him first and admit it to him to get to where we are now: just good friends who joke around with each other. It's as though I can never just be friends with a guy, I always get those feelings for them. And after so many years I guess I'm still confused as to why these guys don't like me like that.
It's really hard to let go of something that at one time seemed so real and possible, something as beautiful and satisfying as finding someone to be with.
It's really hard to be just friends. Even harder to not be friends at all.