Dark Days

This is the third blackout we've had at my house in past four days. This is getting ridiculous..

Driving my tipsy parents and friend back home from a party in Randolph at 3 in the morning (with only my permit). CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.


And just so you know, we got home safe and sound :)

It's Christmas Eve.

And it really doesn't feel like it at all. There's no joy or happiness in this whole process. It feels like I've just been buying gifts and going through the motions. My heart's not in it. In any of it. What am I doing? Why do I keep feeling this way? Listless and without a drive. It's like there's no meaning to my life anymore, I'm not doing anything. There's no point. I just feel sort of.. empty, like I'm not really here.

Winter Break

While my siblings go out clubbing, my mom spends her night in church, and my dad sleeps the night away, I'll be in the kitchen making up for all the time lost in my kitchen-less dorm in Framingham. Two pasta meals, chocochip cookies, and cupcakes. And of course I'll be making some sugar cookies on Christmas eve :D At least I'm keeping busy so it doesn't seem so sad that I'm spending my Saturday night doing... nothing... with no one. Yay!

My Friday Night

My first night back from school will be spent curled up on the couch reading a good book next to the very pretty Christmas tree. I got Darius and a popcorn snack, what more could I need? #sadsociallife

But.. At the end of the day guns don't kill people, people kill people. The world is a fucked up place and honestly, the only thing that stops something as simple as a stone from being a weapon is the person holding it.

Zombie

Walking around campus in search of a computer I can use to finish a bunch of crap last minute for my finals, it feels like I'm the only person still up and working this late. I'm trying, I really am! I'm trying...

Everything Covered in Ice

Detached.

Constantly observing the life around you but never fully partaking in it. Always on the fringes. Longing to be apart of something real without ruining it with your words, your touch, your being. To feel so much yet so little at the same time. Never feeling like you truly belong. To be unsure and frustrated with oneself. Repeatedly feeling like a failure. Depression truly is a sickness. It creeps into your veins and takes over your body, your thoughts. It doesn't let go.

Childish. My work in progress.

Dreams

Last night I dreamed about a zombie apocalypse. And it wasn't humorous at all, it was really scary. 12-21-12 forecast?

That moment when the tables turn.

When the people who used to be your closest friends are now closer to your roommate, who used to be quite antisocial herself... What? How did this happen? Is there something wrong with me? Am I in fact the antisocial one?

And at the end of the day I wonder... why not me?