Today was my "productive day."

And instead of searching jobs or emailing volunteer places like I should be doing, I'm looking at different friendship bracelet patterns... Sigh. Sure, they're pretty sick patterns that I can't wait to try but it's sad how the second I was faced with actually doing work, I opened another tab on my web browser and searched something fun. Smh, day well spent, right?

Workaholics

Pretty much one of the best, funniest shows on TV. This is from their Season 3 premiere Monday when the guys do acid with their boss. I couldn't stop laughing at this. xD

Workaholics
Get More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows

Typing a long text message response only to delete it in the end...

I feel like I'm wasting away in this houseeeeee!

I sleep until around noon pretty much everyday. And I keep having these crazy dreams filled with violence where I almost get killed.
I think I may have cabin fever. No, house fever....
O_O

Rainbow Cake

Extremely proud of the cake I made yesterday. All that hard work paid off! I've now got requests to make another one for a different birthday party... ♥

Doubts

A very long  text conversation late last night/early this morning...

Something urgent turned extremely confusing turned pretty intense.

But it was all the same old stuff.

Some things I said may have been a little harsher than I intended but it's all the same things I've been saying for a while now. I was getting frustrated.

We're two stubborn people talking about things we're adamant about.

And I admit I talk simply about something really complicated, that things are a lot easier said than done, but...

What else can I say other than speak my mind? What can I say other than what I've noticed these past few years? What else can I do when being there isn't enough?

At least I didn't walk away. I debated. I kept pushing.
And in the end you're the one who ended it.

I have doubts about it all, I worry that I may have went too far, that I said too much. But that's okay, if anything, actual cannibal Shia Labeouf still loves me.

This morning I dreamt a dream I've dreamed before.

Except this time I woke up with my head pounding.
It's an intense dream.
Giant aliens start to take over our world.
And throughout the entire dream I'm running from this one alien who wants to take me as his mate.
Last time I had this dream I met this random guy who helped me get away from the alien.
This time I had the dream, I knew the guy. It was my friend James from school.
It was strange because in real life James wouldn't do anything like that... like not even remotely close. But I guess my unconscious state imagined a better version of him.
Anyway, he helps me escape the clutches of the alien and when the alien tries to harm James instead, I save him. Then we run for our lives together.
We run through a bunch of different houses in a suburb town. There's chaos everywhere and it seems like everyone else is dead or has left.
There's a lot of scary moments. At one point I'm hiding in a box in a closet and James distracts the alien so that I can get away.
In the end there's another alien who starts to come after me too so the first alien attacks the second.
While that happens James and I get away and we run to this escape portal thing. James barely makes it but he grabs on to me. Then as we're being lifted/sucked away, the first alien comes back and grabs onto James' shoe.
I tell James to kick off his shoe and he does and the alien falls and we get pulled/sucked to safety.
The End.

Weird dream, I know. But it's awesome.
Plus, how often do you have reoccurring dreams? For me, not often.

THE LAZY LIFE! :D

I've eaten nothing but brownies and milk since I woke up around 11...

Marion Bolognesi

Watercolor Artist 1

I love her portraits. The colors... I want to sink in them.

For Colored Girls

 

 

Remember

 Seer

 Lola

All paintings by Marion Bolognesi.

Nat King Cole - Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just
Smile

:)

My Secret

My feel-good dream team kit consists of these three items from Victoria's Secret:

Pure Seduction, Lost in Fantasy, and Mango Temptation.

My three favorite scents from that entire store. Mmmmm...♥

Cappuccino Art

The cappuccino. It is made with equal parts of espresso and steamed milk. The foam from the milk is what people make art with! I just think that's so cool.

I really want to spend a day at a coffeehouse. I don't drink coffee but I'd like to meet a barista that can show me all the wonderful (non coffee) drinks there are to get. I want to meet a barista much like the one in this comic by Kiki Jones... minus the whole jumping out of lockers thing lol.

Moonbounce

We've got a moonbounce in our backyard for 4 whole days...

Let the fun begin!

I'd be satisfied if I could at least be surprised in Boston. Blindfold me and take me somewhere I've never seen before. Take me somewhere beauty thrives and music lives. Take me somewhere I can get excited, somewhere I can feel alive.

Another Way

Another way I like to cheer myself up/pull myself together is by listening to the soundtrack from Rent :)

Dakota Skye (2008)

"Predictable doesn't always mean boring.

Lust doesn't always mean love.

Near doesn't always mean close.

New doesn't always mean exciting.

Different doesn't always mean better.

Far doesn't always mean distant.

Knowing everything doesn't make you wise.

Knowing the truth doesn't make you superior.

Knowing your problem doesn't solve it.

Sitting between your past and your future

doesn't mean you're in the present."

One Way

One way I like to cheer myself up/pull myself together is by staying home all day watching movies and eating ice cream.

I saw some really cute movies that made me laugh.
Day well spent, in my opinion... hahahah.

Fail.

My mother and my brother and the university I'm currently attending make me feel like a complete failure in life. What I've done, all my experiences, and everything that I do now have no effect on my worth in their eyes. If I get an F, I'm automatically branded as a failure. Because messing up and failing is a surefire sign that I won't get a good job and make a decent amount of money. It's a sign that I won't get anywhere in life. It doesn't matter that I received honor roll all throughout middle school and my first years of high school, it doesn't matter that I've been recognized for my artwork, my athleticism, and my hard work by more than one organization over the years, it doesn't matter that all my teachers have had nothing but good words to say about me, it doesn't matter that I'm a good person with a big heart who is loyal to their friends and sometimes puts too much time and wasted efforts into the little things. All the nice things I've done doesn't matter because I'm just a failure in their eyes. That's all I'll ever be - a waste of time and money.

I know that this is when I'm supposed to pull myself together and persevere and prove them all wrong, but it's extremely hard when everything I do is considered wrong. My mother and brother just keep slapping it in my face, bringing me down. What kind of motivation is that?

I can handle everything else, but I crack under this pressure.

Paintings

Having dealt with watercolors seriously for the first time not too long ago, I've developed a new.. respect (of sorts) for it. I've always loved looking at paintings whether it be oil, acrylic, watercolor, etc. but now that I know how much time and effort it takes to actually make one. Jeez. I love them even more.

I doubt I'd ever be as good as any of the artists whose paintings I have posted and will post, but I'll practice. I shall start with watercolors.. then move on to acrylics haha.

How To Heal The World

If everyone had a little bit of chocolate with breakfast each morning, the world would be a better place. Guaranteed.

Trying to be really quiet is extremely hard.

Every sound you make breaks the air like a clash of symbols or a gunshot or glass breaking.
You make small, slow movements and end up spending like half an hour on something that could've taken less than a minute.
You feel paranoid that everything you do will attract attention and disturb the silence all around you.

Being quiet in an already quiet house is extremely hard...

Cakecakecakecakecakecakecakecakecakecakecakecakecakecakecake...

[Rihanna - Birthday Cake ft. Chris Brown]
♥

I realize that first picture may have been a little... frightening. I apologize. Here's a better, more tamed picture of my afro :) LOL

Alex Clare - Too Close

Great song. But I feel like he could've done more with the video..

Oh, how I missed my afro!

Having a very intimate dream featuring someone extremely close to you.

Awkward as fuck to wake up from... o_o

Continued Movie Marathon

Today I watched two more movies.

The first was Descent (2007).

It was... interesting... It's about a bright girl in college who gets raped and, after meddling in the drug world and  with her promiscuity, exacts revenge on her rapist. It started off pretty slow and right before the rape scene I found myself scolding the main character through the screen for going to the guy's house -_- But she finds some random drug leader guy and in the end she rapes her rapist with a wooden something and gets her drug leader friend to rape him. It's awkward. And there is some nudity - be warned. Umm... overall I give this 3 stars.


The other movie I saw was Melancholia (2011).

This movie was so much better. It is basically the story of two sisters as Earth collides into another planet Melancholia. It begins at the younger sister's wedding (with the older sister as the maid of honor) and everything just down-spirals from there. It was cool because something that seemed so perfect turned out to be a failure. The wedding though was absolutely gorgeous. I would love to have one just like the one in the movie. The only downside though is that the movie is over 2 hours long... That's why it gets 4 stars. Other than that, it's really good. I recommend it.

Movie Morning

So I've been up since about midnight watching movies on my list of movies to watch and.. I'm so glad I did (again)!!! Ohmygosh. They were the best movies I've seen in a while.

I pretty much spent all day watching movies. Earlier I saw Keith (2008). It reminded me a lot of A Walk To Remember. Though I already knew that he was terminally ill before watching it, it was all pretty cliche. I predicted everything.. Still, it was good I guess. Then I saw Serious Moonlight (2009) and that wasn't too bad. I actually laughed a lot watching it haha. Then I watched Anjelah Johnson's standup That's How We Do It, that was really funny :) Gotta love her Nail salon bit and her Bon Qui Qui...

But anyway the last two movies I saw topped everything else I saw today.
First I watched XXY (2007).

That was really good. It's about a 15 year old hermaphrodite named Alex and her parents struggling through a life-changing surgery decision. There's some tough romance stuff in there too (and some nudity - be warned). It definitely brings up gender and ethics issues, which much too often go unspoken. I liked that. I give it 4.5 stars.

Then I watched Super 8 (2011).

Oh. My. Gosh. That movie blew my mind it was so good. Congrats Steven, you really killed it with this one! It's about these 6 middle school kids living in the 70s-80s filming a movie who witness a train wreck and discover a secret the government's been hiding. It was ahhh! Jeez. Like the plot was interesting as it was, but then out of nowhere there would be explosions and crashes that had me jumping out of my seat. It kept me on edge. But the ending was satisfying too. I give it 5 stars. I loved it. Go watch it. Now. I mean it.

And I watched Thor (2011) a couple days ago too. That was really good too. Beautifully ripped actor. Very funny plot. 4 stars.

Johnny's Farewell

Play the music video before playing the slideshow! :)

The song just matches the moment... This might be my favorite song as of now.
Johnnyyyyy! :'(

Good luck.

When lyrics describe your life..

[Paper Route - Better Life]

All this trouble that I know,

Every swing I take and stone I throw.

All the bridges that I’ve burned,

All the new ways that I hurt.

You gave up and I lost track

When you love someone who don’t love back

Don’t matter who’s at fault

Nothing matters now at all.

I might have said too much.

I might have said too much.

I won’t forget your touch,

I’m saying too much.

A better life is waiting

A better life, a better life is waiting.

A better life is waiting

A better life, a better life is waiting.

And what is done is done.

Piece together what's been broken.

Can you ever give up someone?

A better life, a better life.

And what is done is done.

Piece together what's been broken.

Can you ever give up someone?

A better life, A better life is waiting.

All this fire in my veins,

From a heart thats trapped in my rib cage.

Burning through my finger tips,

Burning everything I kiss.

All the memories that you live in,

Just another door that I'm closing

In hall that's infinite,

Better least I can admit it.

I might have said too much.

I might have said too much.

I won’t forget your touch,

I’m saying too much.

A better life is waiting

A better life, a better life is waiting.

A better life is waiting

A better life, a better life is waiting.

And what is done is done.

Piece together what's been broken.

Can you ever give up someone?

A better life, a better life.

And what is done is done.

Piece together what's been broken.

Can you ever give up someone?

A better life, A better life is waiting.

Woah, I know. Woah-Woah. I know.

I’m saying too much.

And what is done is done.

Piece together what's been broken.

Can you ever give up someone.

A better life, a better life.

And what is done is done.

Piece together what's been broken.

Can you ever give up someone.

A better life is waiting.

A better life is waiting.

A better life, A better life is waiting.

A better life is waiting.

A better life is waiting.

A better life, A better life is waiting.

Woah, I know. Woah-Woah. I know.

Time.

     Slowly.

             Ticks.

                    By.

Countdown

My dear friend Johnny is moving across the country in 44 hours. What can I say?

And This Too :)

2:25 is my favorite LOL.

This Made My Friggen Day

How is this not famous yet? LMAO

I feel like I'm going to implode. Like my insides are poisoning themselves. I want to claw at the walls and bang my head on the floor. Anything is better than this writhing, feel like death, crying because it hurts so bad pain.

Menstrual cramps.

Does it even mean anything?

Butterflies

Lora Zombie

Miffed.

-_-

Get the fuck over it.

I really want a garter tattoo.
But not an actual lace garter design, I want it to have the theme of the Greek goddess Athena like with a helmet and an owl and a tiger lily or geraniums (apparently they're her flower symbols) and of course with some stars (in honor of my bestie). I want it to wrap around my mid/lower thigh. Maybe those symbols could be on top of the Greek key pattern?

But it's so hard to think of a design to link all of those images together that I sort of just want to give up and get a lacey garter tattoo haha. Those don't look too bad either though :)

Notice that they're all on white skin.... -_-

And I'd only have it on my left leg.

Bows are cute, but the bows on the ones that I've seen look tacky. So, idk. I need to think it through a bit more. Plus if that's the first time I get a tattoo, I'm not sure how long I'd last sitting there getting stabbed with a  needle...

One of these days.. :)

Banana Dance! :D

Very Wonder Woman

By Lora Zombie

Tattoo Girl

By Lora Zombie

Heels = Love

"Handmade Shoe Edit"

"Iron Fist Shoes"

"Iron Fist Shoes"

All photos by Lora Zombie

1. I would love if she painted a pair of heels like that for me :3

2. I sort of want a pet rat now... haha.

Smash Mouth - All Star

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:]
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire how about yours
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

[Repeat Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Repeat Chorus]

Probably my favorite song of the '90's.

:) 

Photo by Moochin Photoman

Love

"What are feelings?

Aren't they just for playing with?

What is love?

Isn't it just a game?"

His Time

As I sit here and look at my dear grandfather passing away before my eyes I think about all he is, all he was to his large family. I think about what this means for my grandmother...and all my aunts and uncles. And my mom.

It must be hard.

Terminated

Real TV

This show is freaking awesome. I like watching the delinquent kids get yelled at by prisoners hahahaha.

It's much better than any of that other "reality tv" crap out there now.

Basketball Wives? The Kardashians? Bad Girls Club? No thanks.

Truth.

Graph of Intimacy of touch versus Discomfort Level

Found in a book "Nonverbal Communication" I was using as a resource for my Expository Writing research paper hahahahaha.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Mah body be sore! :(

I walked with over 43,000 people yesterday in the Walk for Hunger. Then I did squats for being late at YMS. And now I dread going up stairs. My thighs feel too muscly to move haha.