Friday, January 22, 2010

Sweet Seventeen: Part I

My brother was right, I do have high expectations. It happened at my little Christmas shindig and it happened again last night. Last night, I was so disappointed. All the plans that were supposed to happen were falling apart. I went into a mini-depression and all of sudden started thinking about who my real friends were. I thought, "Well, would a real friend wait until the last minute to plan something for my birthday because they forgot and were too lazy?" Pretty much everybody was busy or had already made plans so I thought that they weren't real friends who cared about me. But after thinking that, I felt even worse. Yes, some may not have cared, but at least a few did. At least a few friends cared enough to take me out and do things with me. At least he cared enough to go there after school and make the reservations right away.
Can you see how I constantly try to stay optimistic? I got to a point where I wanted to cry, but instead I forced myself to smile. I forced myself to think positive and be grateful for what I do have.
I fell asleep writing my feelings in a notebook. I was caught in the conflict between my impending depression and my desperate pursuit of happiness.

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