Sunday, January 10, 2010

Ahh, the Hopeless Romantic: Part I, Shannon

My experience with boys has been fairly limited. In all my years, I've never had a boyfriend and I'm okay with that. I don't mind being single. From what I can see with my coupled friends and ex-coupled friends, being in a relationship causes a lot of problems anyway. But when crushes factor into the equation, it's a completely different matter. There have only been a few main guys that I've fallen for. Let's see here. There was Shannon in elementary school. That's a good story.
In the 4th grade, we were in the same class. We sat next to each other and we were pretty good friends. Sure, we were different races. Sure, I was taller than him (I'm taller than most of the guys I meet), but none of that mattered. I really really liked him *blush* Every year for the summer he went to France and that's where the sad tale begins. It was on one of the last days of school. We were watching a movie in class (we sat near the back). We were talking then all of a sudden he said something that went along the lines of "sure, they're nice, but they don't compare to you." I wasn't really sure about what he was saying, but I told him that he could tell me again after school. So the bell rang and I started going to the bathroom. I was right in front of the door when he called my name. I turned around and he flat out said it: "I like you." I gotta give him props. He had a lot of guts, unlike me who just said "Oh, okay." Pathetic, isn't it? After that, I turned and went into the bathroom.
I just ruined everything. So for the next couple of days before he left the country, I didn't say anything. I was too shy, like I still am to this day. All throughout the summer, I thought about him. I kept thinking about what could have been, what could have happened if I had just spoken up. Then, the next year in the 5th grade, I saw him and my heart jumped yet again. I told only a few people about my feelings for him and what happened. One person (who I now realize was a horrible choice for a confident) happened to be a loudmouth. She kept bugging me about it and offering to tell him for me until one day I just said yes. So she told him and guess what he said? He said that he just wanted to be friends. I should've known. He probably got over me over the summer or found another girl or something. I was crushed, but I somehow I knew it would never happen.

To this day, I have never told any of my crushes that I liked them. Also, I realized that Shannon was the only guy who admitted that he liked me, I still love him for that :)
But nowadays, I know to choose who I confide in very carefully. That's a very important lesson of life...

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