Big Bang - Bad Boy (This time with a music video! :D)

smexiness :)

I would. For you.

I would be there to wipe your tears if you were crying.
I would skip my classes to be by your side if you needed me to.
I would hurt those who hurt you.
I would cut if it would make you stop.
I would use all my money and effort to get someone like Brian Puspos to spend a day with you just to see you smile.
I would make one hundred friendship bracelets in hopes of keeping our friendship.
I would make one thousand more paper cranes to give you give luck.
I would stay up late to bake you goodies all the time.
I would go out of my way to be at every single one of your volleyball games and cheer you on.
I would kidnap you and take you to Sixflags or some carnival to show you a good time.
I would go out to a restaurant or a movie or the mall or something with you if you had no one else to go with.
I would get permanent ink etched into my skin spelling out "jifly" in honor of you.
I would text you everyday (and call every once in a while) to see how you were doing.
I would do all these things and more for you.
It may sound a little creepy and maybe even borderline obsessive, but I would.
You are by far one of the most brilliant, caring, inspiring people I've met in my life. Even more than my former best friend. I wish that I could make you see that. I wish I could wipe away all your problems, all your doubts, all your loneliness. I can't. But maybe this will show you that you aren't alone. There will always be at least one person thinking about you. You aren't just some speck of dirt on the face of life, you mean something incredibly large to someone somewhere. Keep that in mind.

Maybe the next time I come to town to visit, we'll get to see each other and catch up like we were supposed to. And hopefully I'll have your bracelet done by then too haha.

 Let's take some more stupid pictures at the Apple Store sometime soon, okay?

(This is from like 3 years ago. How crazy is that?!)

Be well, Twinn.
And don't forget to smile - you're beautiful.
♥

Why am I so awkward?!

Why is it that I can't form a platonic relationship with a guy? I always end up viewing any sort of interaction a guy has with me as something more than it is - often times, as him flirting with me in unsubtle way. I imagine guys as having an ulterior sexual motive with me, even when I know nothing will ever happen between us. Is it because most of the times a guy has ever approached me it's to hit on me (almost always delivered by a creepy older, middle-aged man)? Is it because I have no idea what actual flirting looks like? Or do I harbor some other hidden fear/doubts about men? What is WRONG with me? Why can't I have a normal conversation with my male RA without having to hold myself back due to concerns about leading him on? It's not because I think I'm the hottest piece of woman on earth, not at all! It's something else that I just can't put my finger on.

I'm always holding my true emotions back... Sigh.

Home

I'm back home in my bed. And I sort of wish that I weren't. I mean, it's nice to see my family and to relax for a bit, but there's a reason why I'm only staying for a day. I can't deal with them all again. Plus, at least I got food to eat at school! I came back and there was nothing to eat -_-
On the bright side, I got three more of the books I ordered. One of which is The Book Thief. I'm excited about that one.

Oh, and apparently my dad switched up my room like the day after I moved out so it looks odd. But I still have all my stuff so it's okay. I did have to move my cranes though. They were being blocked by the dresser. I like them in their new spot though. There's lots of light to showcase my hard work :)

Problem

I cannot comprehend how my roommate is still up right now. I left the room quiet as a mouse, she was sleeping. Then I come back to find her lying there watching TV.
I cannot comprehend how she can only fall asleep with the TV on. What the fuck is that? It doesn't make any sense. And even if she does have the remote right next to her she doesn't turn it off before she goes to sleep (I think I wrote about this before).
This past week it hasn't been too bad but when I come back to find this I'm just.. stupefied. I should just talk to her. I should just ask her to turn it off before she sleeps because I can't sleep with it on, especially since I wake up and end up having to turn it off. I should say that, right? It's a lot harder than these written words though :\
I can do it! If I can step out of my shell a bit, I can talk to the person I'm supposed to sharing a room with......... right? Right. Then why do I still feel so nervous about it?

I don't want to come off as mean. I'm very careful about the impressions I make on other people. I play it off like I don't care, but deep down, I do. We all do.
Sigh, roommate problems.
<:(

Stay Strong.

 

I got bored while doing homework and doodled this guy.

:)