Wednesday, June 13, 2012

BC1: Day Fourteen

A hero that has let you down. (letter)

 The "hero" I'm thinking of hasn't let me down, per say. They've just changed in my eyes. No longer an inspiring hero, they've.. become human showing all their flaws.

Dear Malcolm,
Remember the good old days? Remember when we used to wash dishes together and sing songs about the drain and grapes? Remember the "Christina and Foot Show"? Remember the Power Stuffed Toys? Remember how I used to just want to hang around you all the time? Remember how you'd have to physically drag me out of your room? Remember how you used to measure my height on your door frame? Remember how we used to go places together all the time? Remember how we used to sing and harmonize perfectly? Haha. I remember it like it was yesterday. I miss those days.
We grew up. We grew apart, in ways. I miss being able to sit with you in a room or in a car without wanting to leave. I miss being able to sit down with you and talk about problems. I miss being at peace with you. Now it's like everything you say upsets me (and vice versa) and we end our already short conversations in screams and on bad terms.
When it gets really bad, sometimes I take out that book you gave me for my birthday last year, Where The Wild Things Are, and read the message you wrote me on the back cover. Sometimes I take out that speech you wrote for me for my graduation. I reread that speech you wrote for me when I completed the MassBLAST program. Those are the messages I have to remember. They remind me that you love me and that you care. They remind me that you argue with me because you care so much.
I just wish you could show your affection in a different way. Because I can only handle so much yelling and fighting before I want to shut you out for good.
You haven't let me down (other than not doing something simple like giving me a ride to an important meeting), you've just grown distant. And that's not the way I'd like it to be.

With love,
Your little sis Cjoe

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