Sunday, October 21, 2012

It's 4 in the morning and I just spent the last 3 hours talking to Jay in his room...

I'm trying to go with the flow but I have no idea what to do. I don't really know what to expect therefore I don't know how to plan it out/approach it. I'm just... stuck in a confused mixed up state. I get these vibes that there is something going on but then I get the vibe that we're just good friends.
For instance, Friday morning I happened to ride the elevator downstairs with him. He said that his orange watch matched my outfit so he let me borrow it. He even put it on for me and everything. Then later that night when I got to the TV lounge to join some of the RA's for a movie, I walk in and my female RA Kay says that "Jay's sitting over there if I want to be closer to him".... Whaaaaat? She'd seen me wearing his watch earlier. I wonder, has he been saying stuff about me? What is Kay thinking?! And tonight! I went in his room to return his watch and I ended up sitting down and we just talked for hours! About our lives, our philosophies, our past relationships (more like his). And when I said I was gonna leave to go to bed we somehow got to talking about pets and he showed me pics of his dog and his family and everything. I only left because some guy who lived in his hall came in needing to talk to him. He keep saying "I don't want to impose on anything.."
Is it that obvious? Are we "meant" to be together? To have a relationship? Does he really have feelings for me?
And I talked to my friend Lizzie just last night about this too. I told her about how the night of my roommate's birthday I asked to get the rest of her cake from Jay's fridge. He texted me that the door was unlocked, to come on in, but when I got there it was locked. He opened it and he was wearing no shirt! (I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Jay's ripped - 6 pack abs and everything.) Lizzie said that he def does like me because guys don't just do stuff like that by accident lol.
I don't know what to think. Am I just being forced into something with him because of what other people think? Or do I really have feelings for him? From the stories that he's shared tonight, I don't wanna break his heart again.
I don't really know what I want. All I know is that I keep wanting to send him silly little messages and give him hugs and make him smile. I want to do all that and see him everyday.. I'm just worried that I don't think I get butterflies when I see him. And in situations like this where someone could get hurt (then again people get hurt in relationships all the time -_-), the butterfly factor is BIG.
What to do..

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