Friday, January 6, 2012

So I was talking to my brother today and he says that I need to learn how to socialize.

He used to say that girl's somehow naturally know how to do it, but when it comes to me, I just don't.. do.. it.. right. Whenever I'm alone with a friend or two I find that I hardly ever talk, and when I do it's just in questions or short comments.

I don't talk about myself.

I've known this for a while now. I don't know why, I just can't seem to tell others about my life when partaking in conversation - unless asked, of course. I rarely willingly do it. And that's the reason why I come off as boring or antisocial to others. I used to blame it on the fact that I just love to listen, but I see now that there's more it to it than just that. It might be because I have some trust issues. It might be because I don't find the things I've done in my life to be very interesting or appeasing to others. Then again if others ask then they want to know, right? It makes sense.. I guess. But due to the lack of conversation on my end I'm often lonely and starved for friendship, wanting some sort of sign that people actually do care about me.

That is my dilemma. That is what I need to change.

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