Why is it that the relationship I feel most insecure about is the one with the friend that's supposed to be closest to me?
Because that's the one that's failed too many times?
Because that's the one that's hurt me the most?
Because along with the relationship, the bond between the friend and I eventually ends up dying too. The feeling that I will forever be supported by them fades. All the secrets that were shared and promises that were made, which once were the center of something grand and wonderful, don't matter anymore. And all the memories I had with them turn into biting criticisms that humiliate and break me down until there's nothing left but me and myself to live with; no one to give a surprise visit, no one to have sleepovers with, no one to text in a heated moment of frustration, no one to just sit with except myself.
I should really stop lying to myself when I say "best friends forever".