Today - or yesterday - YMS had a meeting. About the future of the program, about what's to come. It was pretty successful, I think. Though I'm not sure we'll be able to pull together and keep it alive on our own, no matter how much we all want it to work.
Anyway, after a fun practice we convinced Johnny to let us come over for "therapy sessions" (one-on-one talks about YMS and our lives and whatnot). We had hotdogs and fried Oreos and actually I ended up being the only one actually having a therapy session with him. We talked about my life and friends and how school was going. I admitted that I could've been doing better. I updated him on the stuff that was happening with me.
And the more I talked the more I realized that I'm weird.
I told him about my aversion to telling people about my life (unless they ask, of course) and as the words spilled out of my mouth I realized how absolutely absurd I sounded. Who does that? Seriously. I'm quiet and introverted and I have no idea why. Most people are the complete opposite. They have no problem telling me personal stuff, I just can't reciprocate. I'm not like most people. I'm not certain whether it's good or bad, but my traits and interests and tendencies make me abnormal. My talk with Johnny made me see just how detached I am from others.
I'm a collection of stories waiting to be picked up and read with interest, to be read by someone who actually cares. I've been left behind. I've been used. I've been torn. I feel out of place. I just need someplace I belong.
Johnny's awesome, but he's moving soon. He can't be the only one I open up to willingly. I need someone else. Preferably someone who's not already a therapist lol. It's therapists' job and interest to listen to others and pick their brains...