[B.o.B. - The Kids ft. Janelle Monae]
I really am just "waiting for the end to come" [Linkin Park].
The world is so fucked. And I feel like I have nothing to live for, like my life is going nowhere. I'll go to school and hang out with my friends and have a couple good times and a couple bad times and maybe eventually get a degree then get a job I maybe will sorta kinda like then move out then live out the rest of my days... waiting for the end to come. I don't really see the point. I've experienced life - pain, happiness, pride, pity, beauty, growth, sickness, love, anger, doubt - all the good stuff, and the bad stuff. What else can there be? It's a constant cycle where too many people get hurt. And you may be thinking, "but you haven't experienced everything! you've yet to see the world, you've yet to fall in love!" But wherever I go there will be beauty and there will be even more pain and sadness and heartbreak and despair. And honestly, I'm starting to think that there's no one out there for me. I was born a virgin to all things sexual about love and I'll probably die that way too (more or less).
I'm just tired of it all. Most of the kids nowadays have no sense of self. They're cold and rude and throw sex around like it's meaningless. The generations are just getting more and more hard. It's like they're born into this bleak world knowing those moments of fake happiness in drunken dance and partying and hookups is all they have to look forward to.
I don't know why I thought of this or why I wrote this all here, but I'm sorry if I ruined your day. Maybe I was just hoping that someone else felt the same way.
I have enough common sense to know that someone out there does, that I'm not alone. I just can't shake the feeling that I am.